I recently was on break at work and reading a magazine. I came across a good looking recipe with chicken and veggies and ripped it out, folding it into my jacket. As I did this, another employee asked me what Id taken, I replied, and he looked at me with a crinkled nose. Asking what was wrong, he told me he thought cooking "fancy" meals was a girly thing. Although sexism is still being fought, are there levels as low as this? Can it really be expected of men to only eat stuff you microwave? From my take, I thought it was neutral in the gendered actions of people today, even valued if a man cooks well.
I was wondering what other innocent activities or actions could be construed to be either male or female, as we had discussed this last week. Sewing up a ripped shirt effeminate? Playing videogames masculine? There seems like a laundry list of hilarious social taboos contructed around gender norms that aren't even thought about. Can anyone else name other "gendered activities" and tell me how effeminate it is to cook real meals?
11 comments:
I think this is very interesting! As I was reading this, I remembered a time with my brother. We were in charge of cooking supper one night. He always teases me that I cannot cook! Anyway, he really likes to cook, and wanted to be in charge that night! I thought it was great! haha! Anyway, for his birthday, I wanted to buy him a Wii game. I came across this cooking game, where you could actually create your own meals, recipes, etc. I thought that my brother might like this, since he liked the creative side of cooking.
However, the thought flashed through my mind that "this is a girlie game...he won't like this!" And really looking at the cover of the game, there was only a "female" cook you could be, with the colors being pink and purple-ish. I found this shocking! Why couldn't you choose to be a man, and why couldn't the cover have more gender nuetral colors?!
Needless to say, I did not buy the game because I was unsure if he would like it. :) How else does advertising towards certain genders affect what we buy?!?
I don't think that cooking fancy meals is only expected of women anymore. If you look at a lot of the sitcoms on tv anymore they will show the guy preparing a romantic dinner for his wife or girlfriend. However for regular meals the woman seems to do almost all of the cooking on any tv show. As for people I know, I can name a lot more male friends who could cook a good homemade meal than I could female friends.
Talking about sewing a ripped shirt, I was watching 'Two and A Half Men" the other day and Charlie made fun of Alan for planning on taking a small sewing kit on their trip to Vegas. So I would say that sewing is still thought to be a woman's job.
Another gendered item I would list is map reading. It is always said that women can not understand how to read a map. I know of a lot of men who can not read a map and a lot of women that can. I don't feel that being able to read a map is gender related as both sexes seem to have just as many problems, yet for some reason only the women get ridiculed for being unable to read a map.
Interesting point - I think this is just one of those things that goes back to "traditional" gender views. Although I personally think that lots of overlap between what women and men are "good at" or are "expected to do" is a good thing, I know several people who would disagree. I work as a brand ambassador for the Nebraska Soybean board and I was at a store demoing product one day... I had a college age guy come up to me and ask what I was sampling. After I told him it was soy, he said "Oh, I can't eat that, it'll turn me into a chick." Apparently eating healthy is a chick thing to do.
This topic made me think of a conversation I had with a friend of mine. She is a vegetarian and she told me that she cannot picture herself dating a man who is a vegetarian. I couldn’t believe it. I thought for sure it would make cooking and eating together easier, but she explained to me that, to her, a real man eats meat! So apparently to her meat eating is now a gendered activity with women eating salads and tofu and men eating bloody steaks.
I think you are right. It is ridiculous to coin certain activities to only men or women. I also agree that this typology goes back to the more traditional past time. It is interesting because both men and women are remaining single for longer span of their life. In the past it was assumed that a man went from having his mother to having his wife to take care of him. Now men and women alike are independent and are able to take care of their selves. I think that all men and women should be able to complete enough household tasks in order to survive. Would people look down on a man that cleaned his bathroom or vacuumed? To me that is just another part of living as a young adult.
To make matters even more interesting this blog is humorous to me because I can not cook, but my boyfriend can. I can not even count the number of times he has cooked for me. It is funny because if we decide we are going to make something for dinner I always just sit in the kitchen and talk to him while he does all of the cooking. Maybe once in awhile I will stir while he takes a bathroom break. We don't find this situation odd at all. I am lucky to have a man that can and will cook for me. If any guy makes fun of you for cooking then they are lacking one impressive skill that girls love.
Oh, good ole gender roles.
I love to cook, but I love it more when men cook. Becase of gender roles, I see cooking as something men don't typically do so that's why I find it interesting when a man volunteers to cook for me. I'm just so used to doing it that I don't expect a man to want to cook. However, I don't think it's "girly." I find it just the opposite.
I guess one gendered activity I thought of in recent years is walking alone at night. Women are advised to always have an escort to be safe. I can take care of myself, thank you. I don't need an escort. The only reason I would want a male next to my side at night is for socialization! =)
My roommates younger brother is a senior in high school and he loves to cook. He has won many awards for the dishes that he puts together. I find it very ironic that I was just talking to my roommate about this the other day, but her brother doesn't want anyone at school to know that he enjoys cooking; he tells us that it isn't "cool" for a guy to be a good cook and he doesn't want to get made fun of by his friends. But I personally think that he shouldn't feel that way, I know a lot of women that would love to date a good cook! Also, you see those TV shows with the cook offs where a lot of the cooks are predominantly male. I don't think that there has to be that taboo anymore that only women can be good cooks or that you are a "sissy" if you cook, I think our society is going in the right direction with that.
In my personal life I don't see cooking as gendered. My boyfriend and I had breakfast this morning with his friend. We all were making different things... I had the eggs, the friend was in charge of the pancakes, and my boyfriend was making the sausage. I would not have it any other way. There's no way i would stand there and cook them a big brunch while they sat around. I think this might have been different in the past. For example, my parents go back and forth on who cooks. My mom might cook slightly more often, but if she's working late then my dad does it. In the next generation up, things are way different. Whenever we eat at my grandparents' house, it's my grandma that has prepared the meal. All in all, I think cooking may have used to be a gendered activity, but now it is accepted by both genders.
I don't feel that cooking is a feminine activity. Growing up my mom did most of the cooking but my dad cooked whenever my mom wasn't home. My siblings and I were raised to be self-sufficient. All of us can cook. In one family that I know, the father is the one that does most of the cooking. If there is an event where food is involved he is usually the one that prepares the dish. I feel that today cooking is more of a gender neutral activity.
This is pretty interesting if you sit and think about it. As mentioned, watching sitcoms, you normally see a woman making a meal for her husband or family. Even last night I came across the show King of Queens where the husband comes home to his wife cooking dinner. Even as different as our society is today, we still see these traditions from the 1950s where the wife is dressed nicely, cooking and waiting for her husband to come home. In defense however for these men who enjoy cooking we have various shows rewarding them for their tastes. Take the Food Network for example. There are numerous male cook shows that bring in a decent audience. However, does anyone else notices gendered differences between female cook shows and male cook shows? This is pretty funny if you sit down and really pay attention to it. The male cooks appear to stay away from the characteristic of cooking being feminine by having a beer next to them while they cook, such as in Guy's Big Bite, or they simply carry on conversations that very much so relates to a more male audience. Personally, I find it very masculine of a man who enjoys to cook. My boyfriend is a cook at a restaurant and looking at most restaurants, statistics for a male cook are higher as compared to having female cooks. This reminds me of the restaurant where I work. We had a female apply for a cooking position, was hired but did not last long. She was very slow and had a hard time catching onto the cooking process. Even I, as a female server, got very impatient with this female and part of me believes that men are better apt for getting food made quick while still looking great. I'm far from saying that women can pull their weight in a restaurant kitchen, but what exactly is it about characterizing cooking as a feminine role, yet restaurant kitchens are more male populated? All-in-all, I appreciate my boyfriend's love for cooking and never feel like I am being overpowered by him taking charge of cooking. I myself, love to cook and have always been the cooker of the family. Nonetheless, I think cooking today, although it may always carry a "feminine role," is showing that cooking can have gendered similarities.
What you said about the sexism experienced is very interesting. In high school family and consumer sciences class, we had an old school teacher. Now I have a knack for cooking, and people in the class room recognized this knack. Well the teacher was so old school she still referred to the class as home economics. She could not handle the fact that I was a decent cook, and punished me academically. This is another example of people negatively reinforcing feminine gender perceptions in an educational setting. It was almost as if she was applying a hidden curriculum for the class. Hidden curriculum usually advantages men, but this is a case where it limited men, by reinforcing pre-feminist movement gender roles.
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