I came across this article and I don't think much has changed since college, let me know your thoughts. Thanks.
Article: Your son or daughter is turning into a young man or woman before your eyes: starting to date, learning to drive, thinking about college. Yet at the same time, hormonal changes and social pressure may be creating a person you don’t know and don’t understand.
Adolescent males may appear cocky, but that’s largely because boys have trouble admitting weakness and talking about feelings. Studies show they’re just as confused and anxious as everyone else. While we’ve enacted rules to level the playing field for girls, boys still feel a cultural expectation to “be the best”. Social relationships can be competitive and hierarchical.
Sports can provide a healthy outlet, as well as a great way to blow off steam. Unfortunately, high levels of testosterone mean that when they’re stressed, teenage boys tend to lash out in self-destructive ways. They’re more impulsive than girls and tend to take risks – some healthy, others foolish. Parents need to talk about substance abuse and sexual values. Boys need caring male role models – if not a father or other male relative, then a caring teacher or family friend. More than girls, they’ll need to learn how to talk about their feelings and empathize with others.
Adolescent girls were the underdogs of the academic world for a long time, but now surpass boys in high school graduation rates and college attendance. Nevertheless, they still face enormous and unique pressures: the pressure to be thin and beautiful, the pressure to seem sexy but not slutty, the pressure to achieve without displaying “masculine” traits like ambition and assertiveness.
This pressure intensifies at a time when hormonal changes make it easy for girls to gain weight, push emotions onto a roller coaster and make the approval of peers seem all-important. Teenage girls form tight bonds with friends and talk about everything – but they also assume they are being watched and judged by everyone else. Talk about eating disorders and healthy self-image with them, about sexual values and safety, and about their right to assert their own wants and needs.
Whether you're the parent of a boy or girl, angel or devil, your child will inevitably experience some of the pleasures and pitfalls of the high school experience. And, although high-schoolers often seem to be pushing their parents away, the most important thing you can do for your teenager is be there waiting when he or she is ready to talk.
10 comments:
High schoolers have so much pressure on their shoulders. I remember feeling the things talked about in this article during high school. It's unfortunate that adolescents feel this way during such a crucial and difficult time in their life. I think there should be more done about this on the education level. Think of how many kids commit suicide or get on the wrong paths at this age. I can't help but think there could be more done for these kids.
Mostly they probably just need someone to talk to, given some guidance maybe. Maybe schools should develop a program that would offer support to students, allowing them to form discussion groups and receive guidance on issues that they are having.
The pressure that students have during this time including the pressure each gender has could potentially be lessened, making high school not such a tough place.
While I agree with the article that high school can be a time of intense social pressure, I believe that the article also plays into some of the pitfalls of usual stereotypes.
Young women of today not only feel the societal pressure to be thin/beautiful, but based upon the articles own findings of females surpassing males in graduation rates it seems that females also face the pressure to succeed academically. Due to my own experience as an only child, and a female, I can say that the pressure from my parents was enormous in terms of succeeding academically and in extracurriculars. In today's society I believe just as much as males, young women feel pressure to "be the best" not only in the fashion and beauty outlet of life, but also in the classroom. Along with this, I would say that more men today are looking for women who are strong and ambitious because in today's world it often takes two working adults to support a family. Thus, men would seemingly want an intelligent and driven woman to help build a life together.
And again, whether or not it's the majority of younf males, the article portrays young men as unwilling or unable to admit their feelings. And, honestly, I believe this is a cop out! Not all young men are robots who feel as though they can't show emotion.
I think that the basis of the article has merit because it seeks to forewarn and sooth parents' unease with a maturing teenager/ young adult. However, I think that articles such as these need to stop playing into stereotypes such as men being unemotional and women always feeling boxed into being thin/ beautiful. Had this article focused more on academic pressures, or given both sides of the argument in terms of young men and women who may not fit the mold, then I think it would have be applicable to parents in geeral.
I agree that not much has changed from high school to college with this situation. However, I do feel that there is even more pressure in high school.
Coming from a smaller school everyone had their cliques and knew what was expected from them. Being part of a more "in-crowd" I personally felt the pressure to have everyone like me and to look a certain way to fit in. Looking back now I find it silly for thinking this way. I have learned it's more important to take care of my body than what others think of me. Nonetheless, I still carry a few of these negative characteristics with me today while in college. I'm constantly comparing myself to other individuals and wishing to look a certain way.
The pressure that teens face breaks my heart. I wish they knew that they are wasting their time "perfecting" themselves to impress other high school peers when more than likely, they won't continue having a strong relationship with them after high school. So why do we waste are time, in college, comparing and feeling under pressure to impress others?
Is our society to blame? We are surrounded by adds for losing weight, looking fashionable, gaining more muscle and losing the flab, and etc. Society continues to place this pressure on each gender and who knows how high the eating disorder rate, or suicide rate, and etc. will be in years down the road.
Everyone is making their place in the world, but how do we expect that to be easy with such pressures being placed on each gender? Will we lose the idea of individualism?
My high school memories are the best, I had a blast in high school and probably will never forget the people I met, risk I took and the many mistakes I made. As a high schooler there is so much pressure; everyone is trying to be something or someone else but at this age we dont even know ourselves. We get so caught up in some choices that people make and get away with. That feeling of getting away with things like drugs, alcohol, and relationships is addicting to some. Because high schoolers are trying to discover themselves, these things can get in the way. I was fortunate enough to have strict parents and always have one of them talking to me about right and wrong. At the time I hated it!! and didnt understand why they felt the need to lecture me but I obviously can see now that, even though I did get away with stuff and made poor decisions, I had enough guidance to not make any life changing mistakes.
Even though I loved high school I definitely wouldnt go back! Because that time in everyone's life is so crucial to their furture I wish it wasnt so difficult.
This seems pretty overgeneralized. It seems to insinuate that guys and girls are extremely different. I would agree that some of the things represented in the article are true, but I don't know that it is necessarily written in a way that will be all that helpful to parents of teenagers. Due to stereotypes that have been in place for years and years, teenagers are expected to be a bit wild and unruly, confused and emotional. Part of this has to be due to the fact that hormones truly do play a large role in the actions of a young person.
As far as changing from high school to college, for me there is a huge change in the way people act and live. The social pressures are different ones now, and we all still deal with anxiety associated with them, but we've also all established much more independence than we had in high school, and with age have gained experience and knowledge of the world and the way it works. I like to think that although we still face a lot of issues, we are more apt to dealing with them in a responsible way.
I think that the article is very generalized and doesn't cover anything specifically. As from my high school experience, I would say it was an amazing time. I learned and grew so much. On the other hand, it was probably the hardest time in my life so far. And I think that it is that way for a lot of kids these days. There is so much pressure in high school. My days were filled from dance practice starting at 6am, class all day, practice after school, outside lessons, and then home around 9pm to eat and do homework. This was trying to keep up with all the other meetings with extra curricular and achedemic activities. Also, there is fitting in with your friends, figure out what your doing after school, and fitting in time with your family and getting along with your parents. Now, more than when i was in hight school, there is so much more to worry about in safety. In between all of this, come in growing up and starting dating. Gender roles should be the last thing young people should have to worry about. Although still present, I think the future is bringht. With the stats for college showing women are just as much in attendence, and women in the workplace growing, there is great hope with breaking through some negative gender roles that have been present in the past.
I think high school is a very tough time kids. I remember my days were filled from 6am until 6pm every day. I lived at school. Stress was overwhelming at times. So I could definitely relate to this article.
I think the topic of young men’s behaviors has certainly intrigued me. I think that high school is a time that reinforces traditional gender roles. If an individual does not meet the expectations of their peers they are bullied and ridiculed. High schoolers can be vicious towards each other. This goes for both young men and women. My friend acted outside the traditional gender roles his peers expected of him. Instead of acting tough, strong and intimidating he acted sensitive, caring, and loving. Other males thought he was acting too “prissy” and bullied him until the point he committed suicide. I never understood how someone could be bullied for being “too nice”. However, this class has helped me understand that gender roles play a very important role in our society. Whether these roles are correct or realistic doesn’t seem to matter as long as people support it. I’ve seen plenty of women bullied in harsh ways just the same. Other females are certainly vicious if another girl does not fit the “feminine” body type. This bullying may lead to suicide as well but I think it often drives desperate women into eating disorders first.
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