March 27, 2008
Sex, the media, and parents
Sex permeates our entire society. Whether you're engaging in sex or not, all you have to do is look at the magazine rack at the grocery store to know that sex is everywhere making it a social normity. The idea of sex sells. It turns people on, if you will. However, many people in our society get so caught up in the idea of sex that they become disillusioned as to what it is and how it can really affect people. Unsafe sex is commonly associated with alcohol and drug use. But beyond that, I believe it's associated with growing up in a society that sticks sex right in front of our faces but doesn't educate people about the real life consequences of decisions that are made in the heat of the moment. This is especially true for teenagers. Teens are still developing their cognitive abilities, especially cause and effect. Thus, when they see random, loveless sex in shows, music videos, and movies they watch everyday but never see any consequences, it is no wonder that they believe that they too can participate in such activities with no negative consequences. I guess the main problem is that a lot of parents are too embarrassed or scared to talk to their kids about sex. In my class last semester we were informed that 95% of boys learned what they know about sex from the media while 80% of girls learned from a parent. Sure, this is an awkward thing to talk about, and if my parents had really tried to, I probably would've felt awkward too. Still, like my professor last semester said, the line of communication about everything, not just sex, should be open and building from the time child(ren) are young. This would make the 'birds and bees' talk more like a natural conversation and less like an uncomfortable discussion between two people who barely know each other. I feel that in order to properly education young people about sex, parents need to create an environment that permits open communication at a young age. The main thing that needs to be taught is that sex in the context of a loving, committed relationship amounts to so much more than a random hookup. Sexual intimacy isn't just about intercourse but it's an expression of love between two people who share much more than just a night of fun. In my opinion sex is worth waiting for.
7 comments:
I absolutly agree with you. I think that the idea of intimacy and true love is lost in our culture due to the over-sexed way that everything is sold. If you notice when you walk through the mall, watch television, even read magazines and the newspaper, everything is sexualized to add a twist to get people interested and in the end buy their product, watch their movie, spend their money on their idea. It makes me wonder if the oversexualization of our culture has anything to do with the increase in divorce in our country. Do you think the fact that the media and our society places so much emphasis on sex and the physical part of a relationship, and not so much on the emotional connection, that this plays the greatest influence on the increase of the divorce rate?
I think this topic also connects to the survey that we did in class. One question asked was, "do you believe in sex before marriage." The majority of people agreed that it's acceptable to have sex before marriage. I think it is interesting that if the same question were to be asked several years ago, I don't believe we would have gotten the same results. Essentially what I am trying to get at is I agree with you, the way our media portrays sex changes the way our society feels about sex. Several years ago it seems that everything in the media was censored a lot more than it is now. You can pretty much see someone naked on regular cable tv, whereas that use to only be kept on HBO or some of the channels that you have to pay for.
Although the movie and video game industries argue that they are simply portraying fictional stories or situations that aren't meant to be real life situations; they still affect how we perceive them. Many people relate movies and video games to real life, so using the excuse that it is fictional doesn't cut it for me.
In response to nefan77, I do think that the oversexualization in our culture has had an influence on the divorce rate in this country. In my high school graduating class alone, when I graduated it was easier to count on your fingers how many students had parents that were still married as compared to divorced. It is very sad to see so many relationships end in divorce. I wish people would take marriage more seriously and try to work through their problems with their partners instead of finding sexual gradification outside of marriage. (of the divorces that I know the reason for it, infidelity was the main reason, lack of positive communication is close behind).
I could not agree with you all more. I never had the sex talk from my parents, I learned through media and my friends. I wish I would have had the talk with my parents for the fact that I think it opens up a line of communication that makes the situation easy to talk about from both ends. It is something that is difficult to share with your parents but if talked to about earlier in life you can't help but think it'd be easier to communicate with your parents about later down the road. Also, especially in today's society I feel like individuals see sex as just an activity, we've started to lose the respect and intimacy behind it and I believe it's due to the fact we don't hear about it at home.
I agree that there is too much sex in the media; on TV, in advertisements, in magazines, in videos, well everywhere actually. But unfortunately many times this is what sells and money talks. Also, too many people learn what they know about sex from these same outlets, which can be a very skewed view and some misinformation, but also parents don't always get the correct information out there even when they are willing to have the birds and the bees talk.
I don't really think that this has a lot to do with the fact that there are more divorces, I think that there have been changes in our culture which have contributed to the divorce rate. One being that there is less stigma in being divorced and that it is easier to get divorced than in generations past. My parents have been divorced for 22 years, I'm 22, but I know that it was much better for my mom, who raised my brother and I, than for her to stay in the marriage. In my case I believe that my experience makes me take marriage more seriously and not so much for granted because of what she went through.
I think in our overly sexualized society it is extremely important to educate our children on the cause and effects of their actions. Sex surrounds us in every facet of our existence. I mean it’s true, across from the candy in the checkout line of the grocery store are racy sexual images of celebrities. The media makes sex and marriage into common practice. It’s no big deal if you have sex and it’s no big deal if you get married and then divorced hours later. There is no respect for what should be cherished above all else. I think it is very important that parents take an active role in their children’s lives and decisions. I never heard that statement about building relationships throughout life- but I couldn’t agree more. Parent-child relationships should built throughout life so that it is not two strangers talking about such intimate topics down the road. Having an open, trusting, avenue to discuss sex would certainly steer more kids towards waiting to have sex, in my opinion.
I agree with you about educating young ones about sex within a loving relationship. I think it is also important to educate them about contraception if they do choose to have sex. The should also be made fully aware of the consequences they might come across if they do choose to have sex. But I also think that this is just the way our society is today. We are over stimulated by sexual images as well as violent ones. We really have become de-sensitized to all of it.
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