I'm in another course - the darkside of interpersonal communications - and we have a similar class discussion board where we all post things anonymously and later discuss them in class. I was just reading through a few of the posts and I found a couple gendered gems;
"This was not like her since she was a typical “woman” who never lets her phone leave her sight."
"I don’t like it when others hear or see me cry (must be the stereotypical man trait in me)."
Also, I was watching "Funny Stuff that Kids Say" or something to that effect the other night and they were asking little boys about girls and little girls about boys. The girls said they don't like the boys because they are loud and they smell funny. The boys said they don't like the girls because they cry too often and try too had to fit in. These kids were between 4 and 7. I think it's really interesting to see the parallel between the things we learn as young kids and the way we think as intelligent college students. It goes to show how all these gendered issues are socially constructed into us from the very beginning.
6 comments:
Gendered language really is everywhere! I was at work last night and one of my plants had taken a turn for the worse over the weekend. I was so saying that I was "so upset that he was so unhealhty looking." A co-worker asked me how I knew that my plant was a "him." Now, I am not a botanist and I didn't actually know if it was a female or male plant. And I realized that I address my plants as either a male or female based on their characteristics. I called this particular plant a him because it has long broad leaves, thick and sturdy roots, which are stereotypical characteristics of masculinity. The plants that I refer to as female have stereotypical feminine characteristics such as delicate and long vines and small flowering buds. I did not even realize that I did this. I think that dinstictions of what are male and female have been so culturally reinforced into me for so long that I adopted this unconcious habit!
I have noticed this too. My friends will talk to there vehicles, and the men will tend to use female nouns and pronouns while the women tend to use male nouns and pronouns. I don't think I do this, but if I do talk about/to my plants, vehicle, fish, or frogs I tend to use it, them, etc. Something else that is very interesting about gendered language is the spanish language. Talk about a gendered language. You have different forms of words depending on the gender of the speaker. A group of male and female friends is always amigos. Even different objects are considered feminine or masculine, I haven't studied or spoken much spanish in seven years but I do remember that.
I think its interesting as well, that even though we are in a communication class and many of us are comm majors that we still make the mistake of making unconciously gendered comments. I was at work today and, I'm not sure if this is exaclty related, but sometimes really obnoxious people call or come in and the very offensive terms that people in the office sometimes used to describe these rude people are very gendered. Why is it that a woman is a "*itch" and a man is an "*sshole"? I think it's very interesting how even down to the crude names we call people it remains very gendered in our society.
The example of the little boys and girls is really funny. I think I've heard of that show before. We act as if we are shocked when we see children using gendered language. As adults or parents we are the ones teaching them this. I caught myself doing it to the young boy I nanny. When asking him to help with the chores he was suppose to finish he started to wine. I called him a little girl and said big boys don't cry.. by instinct it just came out. As we mature and become more exposed to things, we still use this gendered language, specifically to young children, they are a sponge and absorb everything we say. I know this language and stereotyping will probably never go away but we could be the start to teaching our children differently. Another incident in which I instantly thought about this class was last weekend back home. I was watching sports center with my parents and a woman broadcaster came on and my mom said.. "UGH! This job is not for women! It's a man's career field.. Who wants to listen to some girl talk about sports?!" My dad and I laughed and looked at her with shock. My dad asked.."geez, why do you tell us how you really feel?!" I just thought.. Why are certain jobs stereotyped for a certain gender? Will it ever occur when men and women wont be judged for their career choice?
I could not agree with you more. I truly believe most of our gendered behavior is socialized into us. Plain and simple.
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