I recently took a trip with my roommate. We met some guys and introduced ourselves (their names were Steve and Chaz). However, my roommate always makes up a fake name instead of using her real name. I don't know why she does this, I never have. We decided to go to another bar with these guys, and as we were leaving, my roommate said, "Where's Chaz?" Steve then replied, "Who's Chaz? Do you mean Joey?"
So it turns out that guys give fake names too. Why do both men and women find it necessary to give fake names? I realize that it was the first time we had ever met these guys, but I find it a real turn off when someone is dishonest right from the get-go. Why can't people just use their real names? It's not like we were being interrogated and they were asking us for our first and last names, life history, and social security numbers. I understand it was just an acquaintance, but I just think giving a fake name is ridiculous. I find it annoying when my roommate (and anyone else for that matter) does it. Anyone wish to share or comment on this??
14 comments:
Wow. I guess I live a sheltered life, because I have never heard of people doing this (besides on movies)! I agree, I think it is ridiculous that people have to "pose". Especially with a simple name! It definitely communicates low self-esteem. Maybe we could go as far as saying that it also communicates that this person has been hurt before, and this is their way of hiding behind something, until they trust that it is safe to reveal their true selves. While this is understandable, it also is extremely negative and horrible to begin meeting someone with a lie! I don't get the whole situation either...but these were some of my initial thoughts on this topic.
HAHA!!! I have done that soo many times! I don't think it's really about being dishonest and feeling the need to not be ourselves. I am a very confident and outgoing individual, but there is something about the mystery of going to a new town and pretending to be someone else. I would never do it if I was by myself but when there are three or four of us girls we always pick fake names and sometimes even try to use an accent!
Even once when we went on a trip with a group of about 25 Frat boys we ALL (boys too) chose fake names and called each other those names throughout the trip.
It is just something that people do for fun- not because they are posing. If you met someone you actually wanted to talk to somewhere else than a bar you would tell them your real name.
I find that very interesting is social circles because I own/operate my own business and I always use a nick name that was given to me as a child. Only my friends, family and people I am socially active with know my real name. My theory is business is not personal, it is business! Thus to keep business not personal I use my nickname.
This is so funny because it reminds me of my best friend in high school. She and I were very close and she was always there for me, but there were things she would do that would just boggle my mind. She was constantly trying to catch the eye of any guy in the room whether she was attracted to him or not, single or not. She loved when guys would approach her, you could actually see her eyes light up! It was amusing and annoying at the same time because even if we both had boyfriends she was constantly flirting with other guys and trying to meet new guys. She too would give false names when she would go somewhere, but I'm pretty sure this was so that her boyfriend did not find out about what she did. It seemed as though everyone in high school knew each other no matter which high school they attended and if one day a guy came to school saying "ohh I met this girl last night", at least my friends name would never come up. It's funny to think about because her personality was just like that high school guy. Everyone can imagine the one guy in high school that played all of the girls and yet no one seemed to care because they thought he was cute. Yet, if my friend had used her real name people would not have been as accepting of her acting like this. It's ironic that she used a fake name to protect herself because of stereotypes.
In retrospect I know she was this way just because she wanted attention. She craved it and wanted it from whomever was paying attention. That is exactly what she got. She is now a married woman with two kids at the age of 23.
I will admit that I have done this. I usually analyze the situation before giving a fake name or my real name. If I am at a party and some of the people are already drunk I will use a fake name because most people have a hard time remembering my name when they are sober. Some of my friends are the same way, but they have names that are very common so they give a fake name to help with communication because there is usually someone else there with the same name.
Personally, I agree with the idea of giving a fake name is dishonest and more or less lame. However, just like this post shows there are a lot of people that have done it or know someone that has - including friends of mine. I could see doing this if you went to a new city where you know no one knows you, but it seems that in Lincoln someone always knows someone you know and it can come back to make you look bad. Maybe that's ok and it makes for a funny story, but I would rather be remembered for other things then the person that gives out fake names. In my opinion it makes you look like you make it a habit of trying to play people and/or just fake from the start.
I have done this a few times myself. I think its a way for people not to know your real identity in any way. Sometimes when I go out I don't want to leave any trail behind where ever I go and whoever I meet. If I were to give a fake name to someone, it tells myself that I do not want to meet anyone new that I could have a relationship with beyond the social setting we were currently in. It's a way to have fun with no strings attached.
I have actually done this. My reasons are so that the people I meet while under that fake name can't find and stalk me on facebook. I hate it when you meet someone and later on down the night they ask you where you go to school, how to spell your name, etc etc. Then in the next couple days you have a person who you knew for about 3 hours trackin you down on facebook or myspace!
I personally see the whole "fake name" as something fun for an individual to do. Why they do it? I don't know...But I agree with 55557 when they say it's all about the mystery of going to a new town and pretending to be someone else. This can also relate to why students switch name tags when outside the school environment such as a conference, for example. While in High School my friends and I would always switch name tags and be that individual for the day and just mess with people. I think the whole act can say that someone has low self-esteem, but I see it more as something fun and rebellious for both sexes to do. However, I personally see it as something more that females take a part of...which can lead this issue to a different question...what makes females more likely to act in this way? Do they do it for attention, as flirting, for excitement? That's something I think would be interesting to find out.
LOL.... my good friend and I would usually give fake names when we go out on the weekends. I think that the main reason we would do this because we just wanted to have fun and not meet new people. Except one night it got us in troulbe because I didn't hear the name she said and I said the same name. Need less to say they caught on, and we quickly moved to a differnt area. We would always just see it as a joke between us and made for our entertainment for the night.
I've never really given a fake name before, but in reading all the responses to this post, I kind of agree with the one about not wanting to be facebook stalked immediately upon meeting someone. It is a little creepy that someone you barely know can find out a lot about you if they simply find out your real name.
I also agree with the facebook stalking comment. I was away for almost a year, returned to school and was shocked to see how quickly it had spread. I could not go out and meet new people without at least one person asking me for my first and last name to "look me up on facebook." I have used a fake name before but only because the person making advances was creepy. When I have a significant other in the picture, that would also be another time I would use a fake name. (If I knew doing so wouldn’t matter) I think women do it more than men because they might feel more vulnerable for sharing first and last names with strange guys. Something interesting to ponder, is it always guys giving fake names to girls and girls giving fake names to guys? I cannot recall a situation when a guy gave a fake name to another guy, or a girl giving a fake name to another girl.
I agree using a fake name is dishonest from the start. I think sometimes it is necessary though- depending on the situation- in this day and age. I've personally never used a fake name. However, if I found myself in a situation in which I was uncomfortable and feeling the need to protect my true name I would. For instance if I were at a bar and some questionable person came up to me and I didn’t like the vibe they’re giving off- I would consider using a fake name. There are too many avenues out there that people can take to find out more about you. But on the contrary if I met people I trusted and wanted to talk to- I would use my real name. It would just depend on the situation.
I think it is so weird when people do this. I think it's immature. I guess it can be funny and an ice breaker at first, but I don't like when it goes on. I don't really see the point in it. The only way I can see it being worth anything is if a person has self esteem issues and feels they need to hide behind another identity to give them some courage. In the end it is pointless if you want a relationship to go anywhere. It's not a great way to build trust when your very first conversation begins with a lie.
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