April 02, 2008
Kind of Outdated?
First of all there are a million topics from Miss Manners that I could have posted, but this struck me as interesting. At the beginning of the semester we talked about what was proper when addressing a woman when you don't know her marital status: Miss, Ms., or Mrs. I never really gave much thought to this but I have been applying for jobs and speaking with a lot of different women in human resources departments via email. These women sign their emails with their names only which leaves me confused as to how to address them. I feel that since I don't know them it is important to use a title when addressing them. It would be offensive to call a young woman Mrs. and offensive to call a happily married woman Miss. I have become very partial to using Ms. in any situation where I do not know the woman. I am a young woman and find it offensive when I am called mam, and would be offended if I was called Mrs since I am independent and single. On the other hand I feel as though being called Miss is demeaning because it involves the connotation of being a little girl and incompetent. What does everyone else think? Do you women feel offended by any of these terms? What do you men use when addressing women?
6 comments:
http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=6245492
Here's the link again if anyone can't get to it from the link in the title.
I find it offensive when people title me as a Miss and would definitely find it offensive when people call me Mrs. I feel that Ms. allows females of all ages to be titled equal to men. Saying Ms. versus the other two allow females to be titled individually rather than in relation to their marital status.
Miss and Mrs. are used to indicate martial status. If a woman was a Miss, she is probably young and single. Mrs. implies married and belonging to a man. Mrs. is so gendered because Mr. is right in the title or Mrs! It says women belong to a Mr. (man) and therefore strangers would know she is taken. But men never have the distinction between single or married and to a stranger a married man could easily be mistaken for single and therefore, extramarital affairs could occur easier for men than women.
I work in an environment where I am referred to as Mam all the time and it drives me nuts and I get very irritated when this happens. So yes, I do think women are easily offended by various titles. I have even noticed while I e-mail various women professors I'm not always sure on how to address them. I have few professors who do not wish to be called Mrs. or Dr. just by their first name, but I think this throws individuals off in instances such as the applying for various jobs in the business world, as mentioned, I think we lose a sense of professionalism when not addressed correctly. So that could lead to another question, although we take offense to various titles as women, are we risking to lose our professionalism in the business world?
I hate being called ma'am by a woman, but I don't mind it as much when it's a man. I'm not really sure why this is. To me, it seems like the man is just being courteous, but that the woman should know better than to call another young woman ma'am. Part of it may be the fact that I worked on a military base for a summer and I got really used to the term!
At work I’m usually referred to as “ma’am”. This title does not bother me because I’ve learned it working with the military. I think it’s a respectful title that does not refer to marital status in any way. I certainly would prefer this over being called “sweetheart”. I definitely don’t like being called “sweetheart” or “hun” because that seem much more disrespectful and condescending even if it’s not meant to be.
I think that Ms. is definitely the best universal title to use for a women. Most likely if you don't know them Ms. is the way to go. I always get nervous when using Mrs. unless I know for sure they are married, but what if they recently got divorced, or recently lost a husband....so again I would always use Ms. I don't mind being called ma'am if it is by a man, but when a women calls me ma'am I feel very old and not respected.
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