April 23, 2008
Let's Shatter Gender Roles of Parents
In today's Daily Nebraskan there is an article titled, "Let's Shatter Gender Roles of Parents." In the article it mentions how every family has someone labeled the breadwinner, and the stay-at-home parent. The article talks about how it's becoming" more common to see the woman in the family labeled as the breadwinner and the man as the stay-at-home parent. In fact, as it says in the article, "in the last year 159,000 men in the U.S. are considered to be full-time care-givers to children (compared with 5.6 million women who stayed at home to raise their children in 2005). Nonetheless, with concerns that men are less nurturing, individuals raise their concerns over the issue. It shows a lack of masculinity some argue to see men want to stay at home and have a "nurturing side." So what do you all think? What do you see as advantages and disadvantages over the issue? I personally think it's great to see these gender roles switched, but I'd like to see what others believe.
7 comments:
I'm not really sure that it'd be a great thing to simply "switch" the roles of breadwinner and care-giver. I think it's great that the discrepancy is equaling out because that signifies less stringent gender roles, which means that gender equality is one tiny step closer to a reality. Like any major change in sociological landscapes, this one too will have repercussions. I feel that some of the benefits are a more sensitive understanding of masculinity and if you look at the big picture, the future will hold children that are closer emotionally to their dads.
I know that I was not as close to my father because he was always working and my mother, whilst being very feminist-oriented and open-minded, was a stay at home-mom for the most part. She had a few jobs here and there when we needed the money, but they were part time and she had more time to spend with us. My dad worked ranch jobs and started early in the morning and ended late at night (depending on calving season, harvest, etc...) so that gendered work load can be bad for father-child interaction.
My long-winded point is that with more men sharing the care-giver role, it may become more common too for men to have part-time jobs that don't typify masculine, work all day attitudes.
This is an easy one for me. The head coach for the team that I was a member of has a son who is nearly four. Her husband is a stay at home dad, although it obviously has not always been that way. Before their child was born he also had a career, although not as high profile and not as high paying. This led to their decision for him to quit working at least until their son started grade school. I have obviously had close contact with the situation and think that it is great. The father is a great, caring and nurturing role model for their son.
Because of the great time demands that involve a Division I head coach, her contact with her son is somewhat limited. Her husband and son travel with the team at every opportunity(at their expense) so she does get to spend as much time with him as possible, yet it is obvious that he is the main care giver. In a sense the child has a dozen care givers because we as team members have doted on him as he has grown up, he is part of our family(the team) as well.
Sometims fathers are better caregivers and that's fine. I don't think we need to pigeonhole someone into a role because of their gender. If a woman would rather work then it shoulfd be her choice, if it is economically better for the family or@hotmail.com the man would like to stay at home,who cares. I think that all need to be happy with their roles, no matter what the roles are, that's the important part of the puzzle. I don't think that anyone would ever question coaches husband's masculinity, I think that comes from people who are not open to any new ideas and are insecure in their own roles in society.
I think there should be no difference when it comes to who stays at home with the children. My personal choice is to not stay at home. I think in most cases both parents have to work in order to bring home as many resources as possible, kids are expensive! The only way I could see one parent stay home would be if one parent truly made enough to comfortably support the entire family, which really doesn't happen that often, especially with today's economy. If I brought home 500k a year maybe I would see if my spouse wanted to stay home, but I would probably still hire a part-time nanny or make sure they were in some type of daycare program. I do not think any parent should stay at home full time. Mother or father, it makes no difference to me. If they want to be the parent that takes care of the child, that says a lot. If you want to give up your career for your child, that says a lot about your parenting skills.
Interesting topic. I have been pleasantly surprised by some of the responses here and in other posts that relate to gender role reversals. I for one agree, that if a couple agrees on their situation - be it both work or one stays home to be the main caregiver, then that's great. I like to believe it boils down to each couples unique situation and not the social stigmas that still persist about a man staying at home to raise the kids. I especially liked seeing cubbies comment about a father can be better caregiver. I have rarely seen or read someone going that far to actually give a guy credit for being capable of being a decent responsible parent. So far a lot of this course and related dialog has been subtle male bashing. So seeing cubbies comments were refreshing. On a side note, I for one as a man would have no problem if my wife wanted to pursue her career more. However (and this will show my age), after being in a few long term relationships and lived together with my significant other...what sounds good here and what tends to happen in real life are typically WAY different. And many women (at least in the midwest) still lean towards being traditional (just like our survey showed) and expect men to work no matter what.
I think the fact is that gender roles cannot be shattered because there are many people in society who follow them so closely. Because there's a great number of those who believe and follow gender roles, they are then passed down to their children, and so on and so on. I think it's nice to see that women are taking the opportunity to be the breadwinner, but part of society will always think that's unusual or wrong.
Throughout my life, I have been greatly influenced by gender roles. My mom stayed home with me till I was 4. Then I went to a daycare until I began school so mom and dad could work full time at our family business. I still saw my dad as the primary provider however, because he always came home later after doing chores or miscellaneous duties related to the business. In my eyes, that meant he worked more than my mom. In reality, my mom worked just as much as my dad doing second shift tasks, but I didn't know that when I grew up. So, I just assumed that dad worked and mom took care of the kids (eventhough she worked full-time like my dad).
However, I don't think my dad missed a beat when it came to "nuturing" his children. It was just different that what mom did. So, relating this back to the article, I do not think men who show a "nurturing side" shows their lack of masculinity. I just think men have a different way of being nurturing individuals.
I think that parents shouldn't be forced to define themselves as either the breadwinner or the cargiver. I think parental roles should fall as they will in terms of what's best for the family without a definition of who's who because creates in inherent superiority .
As for the men who suggest it's unmasculine for men to take primary responsibilty for the care of the children, I think that's pretty funny considering that masculinity isn't genetically inherent. We as a society have defined what we believe men should do, and I think it's inspiring that men are choosing to stay home with their children. Because I believe that men are no less able to be nuturing than women are it's just we expeect this trait in women because we have socially defined them as the caregivers of the family.
I agree that it's good to see these gender roles switched. As for men not being nurturing enough I believe that it is extremely important for both parents to be a big part of raising thier children together. Everyone is so caught up in who satys home and who is the bread winner. When is it ever going to be a fair playing field?
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