After our class lecture on sexual harassment and assault, there have been many valuable discussions continuing to bring the issue out from the shadows. Two weeks ago The Daily Nebraskan, in support of UNO's Take Back the Night Rally, ran an article where assault victims shared their stories of sexual assault. The stories, which were sickening and heart breaking, offered support for many of the concepts and thoughts from class on this subject. One of the stories was from a man who was sexually assaulted by another man, reminding us that gendered violence effects men as well. Another women's story gave an example of when the victim is blamed (p. 285). Her sexual assaults began when she was four by her 6-year-old neighbor:
"He pushed me to the ground and pulled his pants down and pulled my pants down and started humping me. My mom yelled at me and told me 'No, don't do that. That's wrong. You shouldn't do that."
This victim then associated reporting inappropriate sexual acts with getting in trouble. Her mother's reaction as well as her fear kept this particular victim silent for over 15 years.
Ultimately, the public sharing of these stories emphasized the difficult journey of sexual assault survivors in bringing their stories out into the light. The book attributes this to the highly stigmatized nature of sexual assault as well as the "normalization of violence by institutions" such as family, law enforcement, or the media (p. 300). Perhaps through continuing to remember those who have been effected by sexual assault the stigma will lessen and power return to the victimized.
While candlelight vigils are good, what else do you think can be done to both degender sexual assault as only an issue that happens to women as well as help other victims to come out into the light?
8 comments:
We talk in another of my english classes how education is the key to getting people to be understanding and tolerant of things that are outside the norm, but we often discuss what does education and making people aware look like. I agree that the candlelight vigil is a great step in degenderizing sexual assault, as well as running articles like this to get students talking. By making people more aware of what is going on, it is easier for people to stop labeling things one way or another.
I think it is so brave for these people that were assaulted to speak out to the public about their stories. Not only does it help them to communicate and heel themselves, but help others to understand and heel themselves. I think the man especially was brave. This would be hard for anyone to deal with, but as we have studied, men are supposed to show their emotions differently according to society. They are not supposed to talk about things and share their feelings like women. I think that it was big of him to stand up and speak and let other men know that it is ok to get help and support if they need it.
As far as what more can be done, I can think of a few things. The book talks about how media normalizes sexual assualt and/or discrimination. I think that writers and producers could really do something about this. Young people need to see from an early age this kind of behavior should not be deemed acceptable.
In most assualt stories you mainly only hear about women being assaulted. I think that in order to help degender assault we need to get more males that have been assaulted to share their stories. This would bring to light the reality that men are also assaulted.
It may also help to get a victim that is more of the masculine type to tell their stories which would also show that it is not just the more feminine males that can be assaulted. It would hopefully show to others that this type of violence can happen to anyone at anytime.
I think setting up a neutral party or liaison for sexual assault victims to contact would be extremely helpful. It could be a help hot line, and after you tell your story, they could make sure you are protected. Although that's a very tentative idea, something of the sort would likely give silent victims courage.
In response to kiki, there are people that assault victims can talk to. There are hotline numbers that a victim can call at anytime. But that is not the problem, it becomes an issue of trust. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to call one of these numbers or talk to someone but I do not feel comfortable telling someone that I don't know or completely trust my deepest, darkest secrets. The closest I have come to talking to someone about it, is my friend who is in grad school to help assualt and abuse victims. I agree with annonymouscommblogger380 that we need to encourage men who have been assaulted to speak out to help degenderize sexual assault. I also think that something set up like our class blog would help victims. It would be a way for them to tell their stories without anyone knowing who they are.
As far as Kiki says, yes we do need an assault hot line, well we do, that's what rape spouse crisis abuse does and there are others but that is the main one in Lincoln. Perhaps better awareness of the availability of people to talk to after an assault would help more people come forward; of course there could always be more resources.
Then for some people talking with a stranger about an assault is easier than talking with someone that you know and are close to, that distancing yourself from the situation instead of personalizing it with someone that you may see on a regular basis helps some report to a hot line rather confide in a friend or relative.
What does it still say about our perception of men and sexual assault if we think that males being sexually assaulted would be more believable if they were more masculine? Do we again blame the victim if he is small, feminine, emasculated, or even gay, is he less believable of being assaulted sexually if he has or doesn't have these traits.
An assault should be viewed as an assault, no matter the gender or appearance of the victim; I think that is what should be focused on by our society.
I think education is key to overcoming the stigma about sexual violence. As a community we need to reach out and make the victims feel safe in our company. I think candlelight vigils are very good ways to allow victims to share their stories. I think writings and discussions on the matter help to. Words help people to own their experiences. Language is a very powerful thing. It’s a shame people must keep silent for 15 years because they are ashamed of the violence they have suffered. But imagine that girl’s power when she can face her abuser with words and own her experience. Imagine the day she can forgive herself and help other victims overcome the trauma they have suffered. I think sexual violence unfortunately is kept much too quiet. For the victims it’s hard to speak out against their abusers because they are usually scared, ashamed, embarrassed, etc. But as a community we must offer some help and peace of mind because they should not have to live in a silent hell for years. They been the victim once we cannot make them a victim again by kicking the matter under the rug.
I think what is particularly important about this article is that it discusses how males are also victims of sexual assault. So often male victims are labeled with gay epithets, another way of blaming the victim. I think the most significant way to end gendered violence is to educate the public, and to reofrm how we presen men and women in the media. I think we have seen many times in class how these are directly related such as the Dreamworlds video. I hope that in an effort to educate the public we continue to show sexualt assualt as a gendered crime which affects men as well as women.
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