On March 6th we talked in class about Passing and the 5 D’s…distancing, dodging, distracting, denial, deceiving. I had a teacher last semester who to the best of my understanding and past experiences was a lesbian. She once told a story about how her and her “friend” were at HomeDepot and she hit her head on something … and on and on… What I am getting at here is that she didn’t say her partner or anything and there was this catch in her voice when she said my “friend” I feel bad for the lady. It would suck to have to do that all the time. I hope there comes a point when she nolonger has to do that. Has any one else seen or even done something similar?
4 comments:
I have seen similar instances before. It is kin of sad at people cannot be accepted for who they are. We as a society seem to have a strict set of gender expectations and seem to shun anyone who goes against these expectations. I do feel though that our society is becoming more and more accepting of those people that take a more non-standard stance toward gende, and I hope that acceptance continues.
I have seen this sort of thing as well. The only thing we can do is be supportive and let them know that we are there for them if they want to talk. I also try to ask questions if they are a close friend and try to show my support for other's lifestyle choices.
support to their "lifestyle choices"? Where is it that everyone gets this idea about it being a lifestyle choice. Where is the choice that you so speak of? Is it the choice to live how one was born, the choice to live as their own person based on them self rather than societies gender expectations? I really am sick of hearing "lifestyle choice" because living as you were made to live is a choice but people don't look at heterosexual and say I should be supportive of their lifestyle choice to be straight. the "lifestyle choice" only ever comes up in regards to something other than straight. Why is that. I feel it demeans a homosexuals "choice" to live as they were born because if they chose to lie to them self and live a "straight" life it would be looked at as a choice but in a positive light.
So I ask you to never use "lifestyle choice" again because it demeans the life of everyone who isn't straight, because there is a negative ton that somehow that person made a poor life choice (to live the way they were born). Everyone seems to think this comment is somehow not offensive but it so is and it is undermining, judgmental, and oppressive too!
Yes the hiding still goes on because too many people are narrow minded and not accepting of other people's lives that are different than their own. My mother has always had a lot of gay friends and they all were very involved in our lives. One certain couple would pick us up from school when she couldn't, we went to their Christmas parties and birthday parties. Eventually we moved into the same buiding, so they were our neighbors for a long time. They were people I grew up with. When I hear other people make derogatory remarks, I think how restricted all of our lives would have been without Sean and Ryan involved.
Also my mother has told me a story of a college professor here, that she had when I was a toddler. He was gay but in the closest then, he is much more open now and active on campus. But there would be students in the classroom that would say things (about homosexuals) and they had no idea that he was gay. She said it always made her sad for him because he at that time knew he needed to keep quiet.
Times have changed a little since then but certainly not enough for everyone to feel comfortable talking about their partners, maybe some day.
Post a Comment