What is it with guys and hugs? Why is there this thing with shaking hands? Can a guy not hung another guy and have it be okay. What I hate the most are the situations where you don’t know if it’s a hug or a hand shake and you do the juggle and end up doing both awkwardly. I have this friend that loves getting hugs but I never knew this because he never said anything till just recently. He admitted wanting one but not saying anything because he felt uncomfortable. Why? Why has society deemed it not okay for guys to hug?
9 comments:
Thats a very good question. I personally love to give hugs. There are some guys that I can always get a hug from without iniating it. On the other hand there are some that do not want touched at all. Would the guys that give me hugs still give me hugs if I was also a guy?? BUZZ you bring up a good question. When does society expect guys not to give hugs anymore? Question for the guys in the class; what reinforcement did you receive that made you know that it was inappropriate to hug? And when or at what age did this occur?
Well if I remember correctly it isnt ok for another man to touch another guy unless he intends on causing bodily harm aka masculinity = violence. I think this may be the answer or that society has made it not ok for straight men to hug only to shake hands. I think that it might stem from society saying that men shouldnt show emotions which could be translated as hugs representing the closeness of an emotion. Its just weird how the rules for men have changed and that a hug can seem awkward for guys...
I have noticed that as guys get older they become more comfortable giving hugs to other guys. Maybe it is when they become more comfortable with who they are they are able to show their feelings more.
In many societies it is perfectly acceptable for men to hug, but in our society, that's not the case. The thing I don't get is why is it that men are able to "act gay" or to joke around as if they were homosexual, but when it comes to a simple thing as a hug, it's taboo. Why is it that joking around is acceptable and "funny" but a simple hug isn't?
I am not really sure when it became unaccetable to hug another guy. When I was younger it kind of just happened. You would always get hugs from your mom but then one day you would start to just get a firm handshake from your dad, because you were becoming a man. So then all through high school and even some through college it seems as though you cannot hug another man as it would not be the mascline thing to do.
Yes hugs can be a difficult thing to judge. Obviously the level and closeness in the relationship for men dictates the physical contact they experience. Though, to some simple minded men it's afeminate to show such display of emotion. I've never felt that way at all. I hug my male friends, my male family, anyone who in some way has touched my heart, I feel giving them a hug is okay. Handshakes are the conventional greeting and certainly in many instances its appropriate. I think its a matter of proxemics. Men are fearful of getting to close to another man with a hug. A handshake is more distant and doesn't overtly demonstrate their affection.
I think that this is a very cultural thing. If you look at men in other cultures, some of them kiss and hug and other have even less contact than we do.
I think there are a lot of guys who do like getting hugs but are afraid to say it. They are worried what their peers will think of them. The funny things is that most guys want to be on the good side of the ladies. Ladies like giving and getting hugs. They hug a friend pretty much everytime they meet up. Why don't boys get hugs from everyone? They shouldn't feel uncomfortable because it's a way of letting someone know they care about them.
I would agree that this is a very cultural thing, but it also boils down to the individual. I've had very close guy friends who were completely comfortable giving hugs no matter who was around. Maybe hugs have been exchanged for slaps on the butt while playing sports?
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