May 01, 2008
Unpleasentness
Why is it that women need to please everyone, or when something that is causing controversy is talked about the topic is down played. it seems to me whenever I hear about situations as these, women try to act all nice nice when they are upset with the situation or actions of someone else. Women seem to not like confronting unpleasant situations. am i wrong or is this just my perspective?
3 comments:
I think you've hit this right on the head. It all goes back to the men-women difference in experiencing life. Men will tend to sddress the problem and find a way to resolve it. Conversely, woman see conflict in a different light. A woman's inherent ability to manage a relationship is a uniquely special quality. Finding value in preserving the relationship i.e. downplaying the problem comes paramount in a woman's mind. Therefore, women generally speaking like to avoid these delicate situaitons at all costs. If restitution is needed, this will be accomplished through talk and emotions.
I would have to agree with you. There are the few women who don't really care what people think but for the most part they put on a good face so everyone thinks they are nice people and friendly. They can have their moments where they are so rude too. Ususally not to men but to other women. Many times women back down when talking to a man about a confrontation. If they're talking to another women they go all out and don't back down.
Ah, ha! So that's it! No, actually I'm being very serious! No wonder I always feel so out of my element and have been told that I'm part girl/part guy when it comes to how I think/feel/talk, etc. I'm very much a conflict resolver, analytical/logical thinker, and it is very, very hard when people (and yes, I do mean people because I've seen some guys not be willing to really address/resolve issues, but also yes, I've seen more girls unwilling -or perhaps unable, meaning don't have the 'tools' to do so- to do so) cannot do this.
I have a few friends who are girls who can resolve/discuss issues/conflicts quite easily, but many of them back off, won't say if something is bothering them, won't address issues, and can't seem to calmly and rationally separate issues from personal emotions. Often times they do seem to be trying to be 'nice' by not saying anything, but for me it's very frustrating because it's anything but nice.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think you have to be a bitch or approach things in an aggressive/angry way, but I DO think that you put things out there in a calm, rational manner.
So, to all the guys and girls out there that also experience this problem, know that I completely relate to you! :)
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